Passing Through...

Tired

2006-10-30T04:34:00.000-08:00

...That's exactly how I have been feeling entire day today...battery was out of order on Friday,doctor brought it up on Saturday,but probably I exhausted all reserves running around on 'normal' weekend activities yesterday ,thus,running on really low energy today...I want to go home and sleep sound.

At Home...

2006-09-29T12:00:00.000-07:00

So...first day at home is over...the whole house is sleeping ...but I feel sleeping is just a wastage of time now until my eyes realllly start drooping...I tried my best to convince my brother about the same,and nagged him for atleast half an hour with all sorts of questions which sounded very interesting to me, just to have him awake and talking...but ,seems my idea of interesting and his are quite different,becos,before I had started talking nonstop,he was just about to sleep,the moment I decided to have a long chat and tried to get him started on it,well,he started snoring!!!well,but if U know me,then you know,that once I feel the need to talk,I just feel the NEED TO TALK,so,I continued my chat for sometime ,to the room,to the walls,to the ticking cuckoo clock,to my snoring brother and to everything...finally gave up and came here! :) now struggling with the slowest yet amazingly steady internet connection here...

Ok,now to continue with the first sentence(well,I am in a really chatty mood rite now and my flow might just get a bit,u know,unfocussed :) it happens when one has just too much to say ),the first day at home is over ... as always ,the best and the worst thing about time is - it flies!No matter how much I try to hold on to every single moment of this beautiful life,it keeps slipping away like grains of sand...but then,isn't the moment right now too beautiful to think about the idiosyncrasies of time!

yesterday,whole night I kept dreaming about Hyderabad,the life and the people there...it always happens like this with me...my body travels faster from Hyd to Calcutta,than my mind transits between these two unbelievably different forms of life...so,the first couple of days ,I am still somewhere in between , thoughts keep travelling back and forth , but soon I will forget the very feel of existence of that other life until...well :) ,there is still time ...

...It is very late in the night now , and there is that lonely road lying in front of the house ... the lonely road which is so busy a street during the day that you never even notice that it has a bend like a flowing river ... only in the night, when there is no one on the roads ( and one or two stray whooshing cars starts you wondering about who the people are in those cars,and how their lives are) , it comes alive ... and you notice that this mundane road with its slight curve to the unknown, shaded with trees all along is so enigmatically lonely and beautiful that it takes your breath away ... long back,when I was growing up, during exams, when there always used to be much more to mug in a night than there was ever time for it...and when the whole house would be sleeping as sound as today , leaving me as lonely and yearning for company as today, then also, the road would be there ... the world changes but home never does , isn't it?

And then,the two Casuarina trees,one Neem tree,and that huge giant Eucalyptus - all these define my home.(I shall forever remain grateful to Jethu for these trees)...when I go to sleep in that room of mine,in that bed which somehow owns the most peaceful feeling of this world(now,there is a very long story around this,but will come back to that later),and I can see the crescent moon through the wispy shades of the casuarina tree ... well, I have never known heaven,but then,should I care since I have known home ...

...Just an imagination

2006-09-20T06:02:00.000-07:00

...Have you ever felt a stab of wild pain in your heart for a loss even though you always knew that the win never belonged to you?...The impossible hurts,doesen't it?

Life does change!!!...but,we don't!

2006-09-18T04:20:00.000-07:00

...We had gone out for a lunch treat today, a team member had got a promotion and thus,it was a BIIG treat for 10 people of the team...it costed 4650.10 people,4650 ,I felt it was a bit on the high end,but considering the food we had,it was justified and I didn't feel any pinch atleast!

Coming back,I told a very dear college friend of mine about it and...one thing after the other and...the memories came back.In college,we were a gang of 7 girls.and we used to have BIIG HAPPY birthday treats.And guess the price of 7 people having a lavish (well,we really used to consider it thatwise!) dinner? 300 bucks!Yes,REALLY!I can even print the menu here,for the disbelievers' sake!
1. 4plates of Hakka Chowmein - each at 30/- ;4*30 = 120
2. 1 Garlic Chicken,1 Chilli Chicken - each at 35/- ;2*35 = 70
and the rest for some indulgences,you know desserts and the works(read,icecreams cold drinks etc)!Yeah,didn't I mention it used to be BIIG!

...From 300 for 7 to 4700 for 10...long journey , eh?If you ask me,no,not really!Life was good then,life is good even now!It has just changed a bit,but we are still the same ol' bunch of funny people drinking life to its FULLEST!

Long live our happiness!!!

...Ekla cholo re:))

2006-09-11T08:11:00.000-07:00

...When there is nobody around you at office and you can't hear the clicks of any other keyboard other than your lone one and you feel like just getting to see some known face,maybe just a smile and 2-3 words but you realize there is nobody really at the moment and it feels kinda lonely and then you feel something missing/empty and you realize soon that it's just your stomach which is crying out for some attention in terms of food,but you really donot have anything to offer it other than dry artificial tasting chips of which you are extremely bored (and you sadly remember they used to be a delicacy when you didn't have toomuch of them!) of ,yet the hunger part is not really bothering you toomuch(u r kinda used to it!),only the absence of keyboard clicks is the thing which is slowly getting on to you, yet you can't leave because you have a load of strange work ,yet you can't even work on them because you are completely clueless where exactly to start,yet you can't just give up for the day and get going because the problem is intriguing you and moreover,the work seems to be urgent...then , what do you do?

Well, I simply take a break and write 2-3 lines in my blog,certainly brings a smile on my face :)...what do you do?

It tastes bitter

2006-09-04T08:19:00.000-07:00

...It was a nice day at office,or should I say an usual one except for the last half an hour!I leave for home now with a kindof bitter taste in my mouth...this was pretty unnecessary I feel.My,how I hate controlfreaks like this.But even more than that,I HATE lies,just HATE it!!!Can take any amount of straight speaking,harsh words,anything,but uh,lies!NO!
:(Not a nice way to wind up the day in such a bad mood...cmon,forget and forgive this pettiness and cheer UP!

...About ppl u can't help loving!

2006-09-03T22:44:00.000-07:00

Lest I forget,here is a compilation of my Durga Puja shopping list - the minimum things that I simply MUST buy :
1. One Provogue shirt,size : 42,for an extremely choosy person who has shirts of all possible colours and styles,who doesen't prefer to have two same-colored shirts,and is extremely style conscious - well,definitely the best dressed man I have seen in my life within my circle.
The challenges : a. To begin with,I dont have an idea what colours he likes.I thought since he is fashionable,maybe he would like a pink shirt(aren't those in fashion and well,he doesent have any for sure:)),so I asked him whether he wanted that.He asked me in return " Would u like if u see a guy wearing a pink shirt in office or anywhere?" ...ahem,NO!I would hate it and so I said and that answered the question.So,which color?Dunno...
b. In any case, I dont understand shirts for men.I can't make out any uniqueness in any of them, whatever I see, I have already seen it earlier,so what's the point of buying an already-seen shirt?And I simply don't understand why some are so costly when all look and feel the same(to me atleast,for sure).
c. As I already mentioned,the person is amazingly welldressed,stlyish and choosy,ofcourse...yet,he won't give me any suggestion on what he exactly wants,leaves that to my choice though he has never failed to express it on immumerable occasions earlier that when it comes to dresssense,I have the worst!!!Ummm...well,the man in question certainly likes to trouble people , that much I know:)...
d. Last but not the least,I simply want to give him the BEST - is first reaction should be nothing less than a 'Vow'(won't mention this point anymore,please consider it to hold true for all the things I list here)...Easy,eh?

2. One branded leather men's purse : It should not be black,it should not be light brown,it should not be like the one I had given the last time(this,I say on my own!Becos I know he never used that bag!) ,it should not have any chains,but it should have a nice compartment to keep coins and it must be of top quality leather...
The Challenges : a. I have had tried this earlier and my last experience disheartens me.I had bought what I thought was a branded pure leather from Shopper's stop,paid what I thought was a hell lot of unreasonable money ,well,but it wasn't liked I know that :(...
b. In any case,again,who cares about men's purses!My,they all look as boring as every other one!CAN YOU FIND ANY DIFFERENCE between one and the other???I swear I can't and anyone who can,I shower my respects on him/her!
c. I dunno of any other brand other than HiDesign and HiDesign sounds too costly to me!And I don't understand leather.

3. Two pairs of Pearl bangles : Pink ones.
The Challenges : a. The size of the hand I am not very sure of.Ok,these hands have cared for me forever and have brought me up,but still,I don;t know the exact size!When I asked,I was told "bring the maximum size possible"...but that answer doesnot satisfy me atall.It is just too relative and vague!
b. The color of the pearls should match the color of a pink pearl necklace I had bought an year-and-a half earlier.Do I need to say,I don't really remember the color!Was it the peach one or the deeper pink variety?and with so many varieties of pink in Hyderabad,well,what a simple task I have!
c. Certain other challenges which you will get to know as you read on.:)
4. Current Best seller books ,preferably thrillers .
The Challenges : a. Well,only one.She has again and again instructed strictly to buy as many as possible but ONLY second hand ones.Well,ok.Recent best sellers.Thrillers.and Second hand!Vow,easy combo!
5. Unknown???No demand.But...I want to buy something!But should I buy something from Hyderabad or maybe later in Calcutta?More importantly,what do I buy?Ahhh,forget it.
6. Some 3-4 pearl necklaces.

...My family.When I think about them,I can't help smiling!Take my word for it,they are amazingly interesting,if not for anything then for their sheer diversity which meets at only one point - their quirkiness!Doesen't the above shopping list give an idea?Ok,let me give an example.

I asked each one ,precisely, my dad,my ma and my dear BIIIG brother what he/she wants for puja.Well,each one's answer were as expected,true to their nature :)

Letz start with the funniest of them all - MY MOM!When you ask her,"Ma,tomar jonyo ki anbo?""Wat do you want me to get for you?" ,first reaction will be "Oh Nothing,I have everything!" you insist,so,second reaction "Bring whatever you want" .If you r wise,you cut the conversation there and never broach the topic again.But then,we r not wise children :))...so,"Ma,nothing specific then,can i buy a sari then?" and I hold my breath coz I know what comes next-TROUBLE!
Ma : No,no,no.No saris for me .not atall.I have too many of them.Ok...can you buy <>.This time,for me the surmon is the pink pearl bangles and yeah,the books.
U don't really think it is that difficult ,do u?Ok,read on.Last year,I had bought her a pink pearl necklace,she had desired it for long.I go home and hand it to her -
I : "Ma,do u like it?"
Ma : "Oh ya it is good".(I am relieved and happy).(Then after 5 minutes)."Koel,didn't you get a deeper shade of pink?This colour is too light,isn't it?Wat do u think?"(ok,I buy and now I have to also opine against it!)
My bechara brother.Travelling in different countries,he faces greater problems!
He is coming back from Germany and asks ma the same question.Ma gives the same initial reactions and then drops this bomb- no jewellery,no artifacts,not even a German knife but , A cuckoo clock from Germany!Do u know,what a cuckoo clock is?Well,u might have heard,but trust me it is not that easy!It is a kind-of rare handicraft in Germany ,you don't get it everywhere,only in specific markets/shops...and well,it COSTS!!!So my dear brother searches helter-skelter(remember,they dont speak a lot of English in Germany) to fulfil Ma's desire...finally gets one which is the smallest(about 6 inches) and costs reasonable- 5000 in Indian rupee :).Cuckoo clocks are kinda fragile,so he packs it with great care,and finally,brings it home.We ALL are simply overawed by it,it is so cute and fragile and totally handoperated (which means,you have to pull its chord everyday to keep it running),we search the net for manuals on how to operate the pendulum in right speed and finally with a lot of trials we SUCCEED!!!YEY!!!!THE cuckoo clock is installed on the wall...Now,Ma's reaction?Initially,"Oh.isn't it a bit too troublesome?",After installation "Oh,u mean you have to wind it everyday???".Later,whenever I express my awe for the clock(well,I still believe it is a wonder!),Ma simply expresses that she is not the least interested in the clock,never even looks at it:))well,u must be wondering who takes care of the clock and who keeps it running smooth?Well,DAD ofcourse:)the person who never asked for it takes utmost care for it everyday,and everytime he sees it ,I know he feels a well of love swelling in his heart for his son.:)Oh yes,my brother had brought a white'n'gold swiss wristwatch for her aswell,but she gave it away to me,saying she already has too many watches.This time,I get to hear from my brother what mom has asked him to bring is well,a swiss watch!!!:))Don't get surprised,that's just OUR MOM- one of the most innovative(she is always bustling with new ideas) and funniest persons I have ever met on earth.
Let's move on to the other FLAMBOYANT personality in our family - my dearest BIIIG brother!So,I ask him "Dada,tor pujoy ki chai?","Dada,what do u want from me in the Pujas?"...and well,before I could finish my sentence properly rolls out a long list .A Provogue shirt(and he also mentions proudly,he doesen't wear anything other than branded ones),a "very good" leather purse(the criteria for that already mentioned above), and "well,for trousers..."...I FORCEFULLY cut him there,I just change the topic,otherwise the list wouldnot ever END ,not until before it crosses 10000.So,that's my brother.Anytime you ask him,he rolls out a long list without a moment's thinking but nice thing about him is,if you don't ask him,he never thrusts the list to you,choice is yours:)...But,my,he is choosy,even snobbish when it comes to dressing/things!No,he is not like mom.When you give him something,he will accept it with a smile,even mention that he likes it.But,soon you get to know better :( he won't ever use it...and sometime later,maybe he will ask for the same thing again!!!It happened this time , I had given him a purse on his last b'day :(...Last April ,I was just going home without any occasion and,I had asked very casually whether he wants something and well,the list went like this "A sherwani","Pearl buttons","A box"(he has a fetish for boxes,and whenever he feels like it,he adds this item to his list:))...and that's the point when I changed the topic :))...The Sherwani,which is a HUGE thing and weighs probably 2/3 kgs :))and costs around 2k,buying simply that exhausted me and I didn't care to get the other things in the list :)dunno whether he really liked it or not,will keep an eye if he ever wears it.
Finally,my dad who is a as boring personality as me.Yes,you can raise ur eyebrow if u r my friend at my mentioning me as a boring person,I am talkative and funny and vibrant u think,eh?Come to my family and you wont take even 5minutes to conclude in that colorful world of personalities ,I and ny good ol' dad are the most boring personalities ;)....just example this.I ask dad,what he wants for puja.He laughed a lot,and very affectionately exclaimed "Me!What do I want?" I insist,and he says ok he will think about it and let me know.And from his voice,it was very apparent that he felt very happy at just my offer.He has never asked anything from brother also.Now,does this quite fit in our family?Well,but that's dad.
I know this post is getting very long and I need to wind it up.But whenever I start speaking about my family,I just can't stop,there's just SOMUCH to say...today,I just wove the smallest example possible showing their diversities reacting to the same situation...if you ask me,this is not even the tip of the iceberg,their quirkiness is just unending!
Sometimes,I do get irritated by them,but even then,I just can't help loving them deeply,no,NOT just becos,it's my family,I love them,blah blah blah.Rather becos,I get amused by them all the time - in all their activities,reactions,actions ,they r stupendously funny and endearing and who doesen't love funny people???Come and meet them once,don't take them for their words,see them with the eyes I see,and I promise you,you will end up laughing so hard that it will be a challenge to hold your tears back :)Wanna try?

Random...

2006-08-30T23:24:00.000-07:00

Had a night out again at a friend's home,kept talking again till as long as I can remember(2 or 3?),got up very late in the morning,had a lengthy breakfast,basically had a great time,buy then, reached office late...and now feeling sleepy and lethargic again :)...impossible to concentrate at work,so thought of getting refreshed by doing something I enjoy immensely - writing !
Well,it is that time of the year again...the sky seems to be bluer than ever,with soft white clouds floating here and there...there is the sound of drums beating somewhere very very distant...and if you r careful,you will catch a whiff of faint smell as well in the air...a sweet nostalgic smell keeps lingering...yeah,so what if it is raining everyday and all you can see is thick black clouds in the sky...isn't it all in the mind?YES,DURGA PUJO TIME AGAIN!The heart skips a small beat,there is a leap of happiness everytime this thought occurs in my mind...and with each passing day and each passing day bringing D DAY closer ,the thought is appearing quite frequently:) enuf to keep me smiling all day!!!
Durga Pujo...simply the word conjures up so many images in the mind and invokes a plethora of feelings ,I am sure to anyone who has EVER been a Bengali :) ... friends ,food,new dresses,crowds and crowds of people everywhere,but most importantly the amazing festive spirit , the sense of thrill and excitement that lingers in the air as refreshing as the flush of first love...durga pujo in Bengal(well,being a core Calcuttan,I was about to say Calcutta,but,then that would be wrong!) is simply divine!4 days pass like a dream and then comes the last day,and the final emotion - a tingling sense of loss ...but then,"Asche bochor Abar Hobe" :)...
Ma asche - That says it all.

It's raining HAPPINESS!

2006-08-04T01:00:00.000-07:00

It has been raining incessantly since last evening...wherever u see,u see a poodle of water...busy city life trying to struggle through it...wet harassed looking people...smelly dirty autos and buses...its rain in the cities!
But I love it this time...don't know why!and to add to that,I FELL DOWN:))yeah,i just slipped in a puddle of water and believe me,I loved it because it felt so funny!Here I was standing all (most probably with a harassed impatient look on my face as well)geared up to catch the shuttle and reach office ,the shuttle comes,I walk towards it and WHOOSH! and I am on the marble floor,wet all over :)...I got embarrassed allright but yet,I HAD SO MUCH FUN!Suddenly it rushed back memories of college,it rushed back memories of a very dear friend of mine who would fall down at the slightest context and the slightest rain and how we would always laugh at her...(and very secretly , I myself was quite prone to falling down and in the growing up years,believe me,it used to be a BIG EMBARRASSMENT :),so I never ever used to tell anybody about my little falling-down expeditions :) )...yeah,I was sitting there on the floor and thinking all of this and feeling happy...I didn't know then,but now I know better why I felt so happy...becoz I felt so young and alive again!

...I can't stop listening to this song

2006-08-02T23:28:00.000-07:00

"Mamma Mia"

I've been cheated by you since I don't know when
So I made up my mind, it must come to an end
Look at me now, will I ever learn?
I don't know how but I suddenly lose control
There's a fire within my soul
Just one look and I can hear a bell ring
One more look and I forget everything, w-o-o-o-oh

Mamma mia, here I go again
My my, how can I resist you?
Mamma mia, does it show again?
My my, just how much I've missed you
Yes, I've been brokenhearted
Blue since the day we parted
Why, why did I ever let you go?
Mamma mia, now I really know,
My my, I could never let you go.

I've been angry and sad about things that you do
I can't count all the times that I've told you we're through
And when you go, when you slam the door
I think you know that you won't be away too long
You know that I'm not that strong.
Just one look and I can hear a bell ring
One more look and I forget everything, w-o-o-o-oh

Mamma mia, here I go again
My my, how can I resist you?
Mamma mia, does it show again?
My my, just how much I've missed you
Yes, I've been brokenhearted
Blue since the day we parted
Why, why did I ever let you go?
Mamma mia, even if I say
Bye bye, leave me now or never
mamma mia, it's a game we play
Bye bye doesn't mean forever

Mamma mia, here I go again
My my, how can I resist you?
Mamma mia, does it show again?
My my, just how much I've missed you
Yes, I've been brokenhearted
Blue since the day we parted
Why, why did I ever let you go
Mamma mia, now I really know
My my, I could never let you go

It's NO fun alone

2006-07-25T04:54:00.000-07:00

It's no fun blogging alone!Friends,let's BLOG!I know u ppl r GREAT speakers,and most of u depict a fact/story even more interestingly than the fact actually is(hasan,ani,hodol r u listening?)!I am dying to hear more of such stories and expressed in writing ,the words ll surely take on a new dimension!Ok,my interest in this is I like reading blogs and want to read more!Yeah yeah ,I know there r more than enuf bloggers/blogs available on the net but hello,what do I care about them?!Reading unknown blogs is the same as interacting with unknown people,they can be interesting but well,not fun'n'comforting...with friends and closely known people,u simply enjoy ur time more,ditto for blogs!
Let's start sharing in this new medium , friends ,let's start blogging!I promise it will be FUN as always i.e. whenever we r together!

One step ahead...the broken bridge

2006-07-24T00:12:00.000-07:00

It is difficult to decsribe the beauty of a place where the beauty lies partly in the creation,mostly in the destruction and mainly in the interpretation of how the twain meet!Infact,rummaging through my scattered memories of the many places I have visited , I can't recall many of such a place seen in my life ... yet,such was the charm of the broken bridge that I decided to start a blog just to write and let people know about the place!
The bridge lies somewhere on the way between nNgarjuna saagar to Ethipotla waterfalls...yeah,I know you will not be too happy with the "somewhere" portion of its location,but then,that is exactly how some places are best addressed...it is not a known place like the nagarjuna saagar or (the much publicised but little to see, as we found out soon after)the Ethipotla falls,it is just an unknown quiet spot lying somewhere in between ...and u stumble into it unknowingly without any expectations and without even suspecting that ur breath is going to be taken away in a moment!
... The bridge is right at level with the road,so you start wandering into it as if you r walking on the road itself...u go ahead step by step ,gazing at the mammoth Dam walls on your left and another bridge(this one,intact :) on your right,until you suddenly find your next step leads to nothingness...the bridge is broken in between...and just about 60ft below (btw,my geographical sense is really poor so this figure might be wrong) the thin river flows almost quietly except colliding with the sharp rocks here and there and thus,breaking into a gushing streamlet once in a while ... and there is the other side of the bridge... as empty and incomplete as the side on which you r standing,yet there is something in the way it stretches out that it pulls you towards and tempts you to move one more step ahead,in a vain hope of somehow crossing the broken bridge ...Interrupted by the chanawala's persistent call , you get to know from the local people that the two sides have been standing like this,incomplete and leading to nothingness...since 1965...(I am not very sure,but I sincerely hope there is a story of nature's fury behind the bridge's breaking down...)
We stayed there for a very little while as we were in a hurry... in a hurry to go somewhere else in search of natural beauty :) so we rushed away without realizing that this was the place we were searching for and if we had any destination then Here Was it...but then,we never realize that we have found what we were searching for until we lose it, do we?